It seems that it depends on context. If we are around with the ability to point on the object, meaning that we see it, then we can use "this" or "that" depends on the distance. But if we don't see it at all, we use "it".
Yes, "by" is used to mean, no later than 8. They might arrive a bit earlier. from: https://hinative.com/en-US/questions/15405462
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